The Last Samurai

I just finished watching the movie The Last Samurai. God has his own unique way of speaking to me. As I was watching the final battle scene, I started weeping. I found myself crying out to God, Please let my life mean something. I want my life to stand for something on this earth. I want something worth fighting for. I want my life to have honor.

I found myself flashing through all the times my life has not brought honor to God. All the times I denied him. Things I allowed in my home, my life, that I knew he did not want. Yet, I did not want to fight my husband. So I either stayed silent, or even worse, participated. I begged God for mercy. To not punish my son for my sins. To provide him with the chance to make it out of this mess. To not have to fight and battle the same demons I have.

To give me a chance to regain my honor. I want my life to mean something. I don't want to just live for the next paycheck.